When you’re in the first exciting stages of dating and falling in love, text flirting can make all the difference in where things go between the two of you next. Texting gives both men and women an easy way to keep their flirting going and bond more deeply, and some people even consider it a modern art form.
The quality of the texting that goes on between two people can have a big impact on the depth and quality of your ultimate connection. So if you’ve gotten to know someone and you want to keep them interested, send these socially savvy texts.
Three texts people send when they’re good at building relationships
1. The playful text
The best relationships have an element of playfulness, especially in the beginning, but in their daily texts with each other, far too many men and women in new relationships, as standard questions like “How was your day?” and “What did you have for dinner last night?”
Keeping a conversation playful through text demonstrates social skills by indicating your ability to read social cues, understand the dynamics of the interaction, and respond appropriately with humor and lightheartedness. Research published in Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine found that this creates a positive and engaging experience for the other person, showing that you can navigate social interactions with ease and a sense of fun.
These texts can be thoughtful, but they are also the kind of texts you can send to a friend or your mother. If you like someone and want to keep them excited about you, it’s important to send them funny, flirty texts.
Example of the playful text: “I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I’m a big fan of vintage surfboards. I’m thinking about getting a new one, but I think I need someone to help me decide which one.”
Playful texts like this should be quirky and different, so start by thinking of a fun fact about yourself that he’ll want to learn more about if they’re the right person for you. Revealing a personal trait or hobby is a great conversation starter as it breaks the ice and puts a smile on their face as they learn more about you.
Why people love it: This approach serves a dual purpose. First, guys love it because it takes the pressure off them to create conversations from scratch, and second, people love good-hearted sassy and unique banter as it opens the door to serious flirting. It’s the personal touch that makes the initially awkward first text exchanges super fun.
Do: Adapt your texts to suit your style. Tell them fun facts about you that make you awesome. Whether it’s your hobbies, your style or your sense of humor, it’s your unique qualities that make you rock. Ask them questions to learn more about these types of facts about them as well.
Don’t: Exaggerate or try to seem like someone you’re not. Doing so will only bite you down the line, and honestly, there’s nothing cooler than being yourself. If this person isn’t into you for you, it’s their loss. Better to know now.
2. The front-of-mind text
Eugene Chystiakov / Unsplash
Everyone wants to be liked, and there’s no harm in moderately expressing your feelings in a way that lets that person know you’re interested. Showing your vulnerability is a big step towards building trust, and this is one of them fastest ways to develop an emotional connection. When you let your guard down, the person you’re interested in is more likely to do the same in return.
Example of the front-of-mind text: “You were on my mind today. It was nice.”
Showing vulnerability is not showing weakness. It is a show of ultimate strength. Someone worth your time and affection will appreciate the simple, open honesty of a raw text that says, “Just FYI, you have a positive impact on my life,” in whatever way feels most comfortable. At the end of the day, we’re all human and we all want attention and affection, so take a deep breath and let that special someone know they’ve got both…for now.
Why people love it: We’re told that coming on too strong scares people away, and to an extent that may be true. But there’s no shame in admitting to someone that they make your day better.
This is the kind of text people save on their phones because they feel special.
Do: Think so. No one likes to be led on, so adding this kind of emotion to your lyrics should only happen when you really feel it.
Don’t: Go too hard or too fast. Emotional texts should be saved for when you’ve gotten to know someone a little. Holding out will make the opening less scary for both of you.
3. The funny text
You can add lots of fun layers of meaning to your texts by adding emojis, GIFs, and images into the mix. Show them you’re thinking by snapping a picture when you come across something you were just discussing, or when you spot a new restaurant you just have to try.
Example of the funny text: Feeling excited that the weekend is finally here? Share it with a relevant meme or video in the tone you two are bantering with.
Why people love it: Nothing makes people feel happier than knowing they are smiling on your face. By sending a happy face emoji or cute GIF, they have proof that they made it happen!
This allows you to convey emotion, add context, and show understanding of the other person’s feelings in a way that goes beyond words.
Do: Reply with a relevant emoji. If they send you a cute message to say they’re thinking of you too? Hit them with a heart eyes emoji (or whatever feels right to you) in return!
Don’t: Get too serious. Above all, keep things light and playful, and they’ll text you like nobody’s business.
Iona Yeung is a dating and relationship coach who works with single women to identify their dating roadblocks, attract the right guys, and communicate from a space of love and clarity.
