We’ve all read about the exaggerated movements people who have too much money make say “I love you.” Boyfriends proposing on jumbotrons or chartering planes to follow banners. Partners planning exotic vacations that require a private jet or dining at restaurants that don’t even take reservations. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of that; it’s just… a lot.
So what do you do if you’re like the rest of us average people trying to afford gasDon’t have the resources to impress your loved one with a headline-grabbing stunt? Why not try a sincere, old-fashioned – and most importantly – approach? That’s what our grandparents did, and they have decades of marriage under their belts, so they must be doing something right.
Here are old-fashioned proposal ideas from grandma’s playbook that happy couples are stealing:
1. Make a map
Do you remember make valentine cards for your crush (or for some of us less daring, our parents) in primary school? Your mother loved them, didn’t she? Maybe she still has them taped to her fridge.
Your sweetheart will appreciate a handmade card. Craft stores have lots of supplies for making paper crafts, and you can do a Pinterest search for tons of creative ideas. A trip to the craft store plus an hour or so of TLC and you’ve created a personal token of your love that you can’t find in any Target aisle.
2. Give her a locket
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Is the woman you love a Jane Austen fan or a hopeless romantic? Consider giving her a locket with your picture in it. Add a lock of your hair for added effect. Lockets don’t have to be expensive. They are easy to find on Amazon, Etsy or eBay. And you’ll both feel good knowing that she holds you close to her heart, literally.
3. Write a poem
It can be free, or you can write a sonnet or a haiku. There are plenty of online resources for writing poetry. (Yes, it’s the thought that counts; we know you’re not Edgar Allen Poe.) If you love the idea but really don’t believe you have the talent, it’s also a good idea to handwrite an already written poem or have it printed.
Pablo Neruda and Rumi has some good poems about love. Or Google a topic like “romantic poems”. Find some images on Google images. Print it out on nice paper. Bonus if you hit it. Voila! You have created another memory to be cherished forever.
4. Bring her dandelions
Technically, they are weeds. But to 6-year-old boys, they are an expression of love…or at least sort of. Considering the cost of flowers these days, yikesinstead, give the person you love a bouquet of dandelions tied with a beautiful ribbon. Wild flowers also work if they are legal to pick. Don’t forget, some men like to get flowers too! It’s the gesture, not the gift.
5. If you are musical, write a song
You can write the music yourself if you have the opportunity. Or take a tune you know and write your own lyrics. You can perform it live in a romantic setting or record it for your love interest to listen to over and over again. When you love each other, being pitch perfect doesn’t matter. Again, it’s all about the gesture – we know you’re not Jonathan Groff (who is?) – try it your best college.
6. Read a book together
Switch to reading chapters aloud. Choose something romantic like Captain Corelli’s Mandolin or a Jane Austin novel. Or choose a fiction bestseller like Really mad guilty by Liane Moriarty or The nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney.
The book tracking website, Goodreadshas great lists for every genre. Find a quiet, cozy place. Drink some cocoa (if it’s winter), lemonade (if it’s summer) or a glass of wine (if it’s Tuesday). Get together and enjoy.
7. Whip up something sweet
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Almost everyone likes a sweet treat. It’s even better when it’s made for you by the person who makes your life sweeter every day.
Cookies, brownies and chocolate dipped strawberriesthere are no bad options here. If you want to be grand, make a treat to share around the office. Let them share with the world that they are loved by you.
8. Leave love notes
Leave these little places to be discovered spontaneously. Under a pillow. In a lunch box. Tucked away in a wallet or briefcase. Typed into a screen saver. On their bathroom mirror. Remind them how much they are loved in small ways. Or write a love letter – not via SMS or e-mail, but in hand on a physical piece of stationery. Want to wow? Plan a special dinner and exchange love letters.
9. Take them on romantic outings
Picnics. Candlelight dinners. Walks in the forest or along the coast. A trip in a rowing boat, a trip by bike. Dancing in the moonlight. A visit to a museum to see Renoirs. Victorian novels are full of ideas for romantic getaways.
These old-fashioned ideas are beautiful because of their simplicity. They are heartfelt and authentic. And the best part: most of them are free or pretty close to it.
Grandma and Grandpa knew that true love is not measured in dollars spent, but by old-fashioned love and attention invested in doing something special for the one you love (which really shouldn’t be an old-fashioned concept at all.) The human species has been doing it for thousands of years. As Emma, a Jane Austen charactersaid in a novel of the same name, “There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.”
Gretchen Martens is an author, speaker, coach and happiness expert. Her methods draw from three decades of eclectic experience as an anthropologist, ontological coach, experiential educator and as an improvisational comedy artist.
