We all want to be liked, but some people are better at it than others. It can be frustrating when you see your friends become a magnet and attract people they’ve just met, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change your approach. The most likable person in any room stands out for a reason, after all.
It’s important to remember not to compare yourself to people who seem to be the life of the party because they may be trying extremely hard to appear that way. It’s not just about their personality, but about habits that make them more pleasant to be around.
The most likable person in the room almost always does 4 specific things
1. Listen more than they talk
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We all want to feel seen and hearted. Everyone’s life gets busy and it can be difficult for our friends to find time to look after us as they are probably busy taking care of themselves. So when someone outside of our friend group listens to us attentively, it makes us feel deeply understood.
The most likable people in the room help others feel that they are not just part of a large group of people. When they listen without speaking, it confirms our experience. No wonder everyone around them finds them magnetic.
If you spend all your time talking, you make others think you’re not really listening. You portray yourself as selfish and domineering instead of letting others control the conversation.
2. To stay authentic
If you think someone is fake, whether it’s a friend or an acquaintance, you probably won’t be able to trust them. You may worry that they are talking about you behind your back or are not who they say they are. But since trust is the foundation of any good relationshipbeing likable means staying authentic, earning trust by being vulnerable and real.
People typically don’t like to talk about their negative traits. Some worry that doing so will repel others, so they hide these negative traits. However, authentic people share the things they feel insecure about because they know it’s part of who they are.
Being vulnerable shows others that they are not fake and that they are relatable. Having someone be honest and open about their insecurities helps other people feel comfortable just being around them.
3. Laughing at himself
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An easy way to become unlikable is to be defensive when others criticize you. This is especially frustrating if they overreact to comments that were casual and didn’t seem rude. While some people shout or cut off someone who is joking, likeable people know the power of laughing at themselves.
People want to be around someone who can laugh at themselves. When someone is able to do this, others feel more comfortable speaking up. They don’t have to watch their words around them the same way they do around friends who react badly to criticism.
Along with making others feel good, they are incredibly magnetic. The confidence someone shows by being able to laugh at themselves allows others to see them as more appealing and someone they want to get to know better.
4. Giving genuine compliments
Everyone is unsure of something. Even if there isn’t a specific thing that makes them feel that way, they may still believe that they are not good enough. But likable people know how to get people out of that rut by giving compliments that are real and genuine. And just a few kind words like that can make anyone feel better about themselves.
A compliment can help people feel more confident, especially when it’s about something very specific. likable people make a compliment feel unique to the person they’re talking to, not just generic. These compliments make people feel seenas if anyone is observant enough to see the little things.
Giving specific compliments can make people want to be around you more. They don’t just give you confidence, they also prove how caring and engaging they are.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and publications covering relationships, mental health, and personal narratives around the human experience.
