Michigan State’s Spring Game Shenanigans are a crime against humanity



The jokes almost write themselves.

Another round college football spring games took place across the country earlier this week as the weather continues to warm and campuses further north kick off their spring football activities.

While most programs use this time to iron out their quarterback depth chart or figure out what their two-deep looks like along the offensive line, there are others who treat their spring game as a celebration for the fans as well as a culmination of the players’ hard work this winter.

For some, that means an open practice, while others want a seven-on-seven showcase or even a skills competition.

All that is to say what happened in East Lansing, Michigan, with Michigan State Spartans Saturday afternoon was not only any of the above, but should have the program under serious consideration for the death penalty.

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What in God’s name did I just see?

We have a lot of fun around here, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and dizzy bat relays instead of a spring game may very well be that line.

“Oh, but Austin, they’re just having fun! They work hard in the winter. They deserve to let loose one day.”

Let me ask you something: is losing fun?

Because since their 11-win season and Peach Bowl win in 2021, the Spartans haven’t won more than five games.

Also, I realize they still played their spring game after this little bat race, but seriously, you’re trying to prove to your fan base that you’re here to revive a once-proud football program, not organize a Founder’s Day at a Fortune 500 company.

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And speaking of the fans, what a slap in the face to get this smacked in the middle of a spring game they came to in year one of a new coaching regime.

I can tell you right now: my team this year is one of a new coaching staff and desperate to return to their former glory days. If that bat relay took place in the swamp at any point during our spring game, I would have started a bonfire with every piece of Florida merch I owned.

Our fans would have made January 6th look like story time at the local kindergarten.

Spartan fans aren’t exactly thrilled either, if the comments are any indicator.

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The jokes almost write themselves.

Which is another reason this was a terrible idea: bad optics.

Pat Fitzgerald better pray that his team goes 8-4 or better this season or the GIFs made from this will be legendary.

I’ll root for you, Sparty, but we’re a long way from the Mark Dantonio days in East Lansing.




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