Doom scrolling negative content redirects our brains in horrible ways, social media in general damages cognitive skillsand even AI dulls our humanity.
If that isn’t alarming enough, so many people use phones and social media as a distraction from life and the kinds of challenges that really allow them to grow. That’s why you can usually tell someone has a deep heart by the kind of things they completely ignore on social media. They don’t use it as a distraction, but lean into the reality and discomfort of life by evading the allure of stimulation online.
You can tell someone has a deep heart by 11 things they completely ignore on social media
1. Flashy headlines
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According to a study from PLOS Onemost headlines we see about news and worldly events on social media are inherently clickbaity and hyper-emotional because they get the most engagement. It’s very intense, sometimes false, stories that spread the furthest, making the news even more draining than it typically already is.
That’s why so many people already have deeply thinking and deeply feeling mind avoid this content online. Not only do they prefer to get their news offline, usually to avoid media overload that comes from social media consumption, but they also enjoy being able to dive deeper when they choose, rather than being forced to by an algorithm.
They are not passive and insensitive. They are conscious and discerning.
2. Knight and long-haired complaints
Going on social media and using it as a brain dump of all your negativity can be healthy if you turn it off, accept those feelings, let them go, and move on with action. But if you’re on the other side of those arguments, internalizing the feelings and absorbing the negativity, it can rewire your brain in negative ways.
Especially for smart people who are already tapping into social energy and are curious about the deeper meaning behind someone’s thoughts or feelings, ignoring these complaining spirals is necessary for their health and well-being.
3. Comparison traps
While we often feel pressured to compare ourselves in unhealthy ways in real life, most people are today’s comparison culture starts online and follows us into our intimate, personal lives. Especially for impressionable young people or people struggling with low self-esteem, feeling the pressure to compare with the highlights of other people’s lives can be seriously draining.
This is why they are called comparison traps. You feel trapped by unrealistic expectations, and as easy as it may be to recognize that you only see people on their best days, it still creates all kinds of complex shame and guilt. Deep thinking people understand how damaging these passive interactions and experiences can be online, so they are careful to ignore or block the kinds of people who make them feel worse about themselves.
4. Attention-seeking posts
Many attention seekers post on social media to seek validation and approval from others. Seam a study from 2016 explains that they are essentially asking for feedback from others, even if they do not directly verbalize their need for it. So just like an attention seeker does in person, these people online create emotional burdens for their viewers and friends.
Over time, seeing and engaging with these kinds of posts can be draining, especially for conscious, deep-thinking people who can’t help but read further into these interactions. This is why they tend to avoid posts and people that bring up these draining emotions.
5. Dating apps
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According to a study from Computers in Human Behaviordating app users consistently show significantly worse mental health outcomes, from depression to mental health disorders. While the reasons why people turn to and use dating apps are nuanced, they can trigger all kinds of negative experiences, from loneliness to lower self-esteem and even feelings of “choice overload” leading to superficial connections.
So naturally, intelligent people who can’t stand small talk, let alone the superficial barriers to deep connections on dating apps, tend to avoid these platforms altogether.
6. Unhealthy and unproductive debates
While truly smart people with deep thinking minds appreciate stimulating conversation and debate, they are not interested in talking to someone who is only interested in being right or winning. Most of the time, they avoid socializing for the sake of itbut when they can meet with someone who stimulates their mind, they are interested.
Without the added context of tone and body language in a real conversation, it’s really no surprise that these intelligent people avoid unnecessary arguments and debates on social media.
7. People who make them feel worse
A study from 2024 suggests that many people who block other users on social media aim to create distance. Whether it’s because they’re disconnected from real life or simply trying to protect their own mental health by not viewing their content, it’s usually the smartest people who are conscious of how they use the block button.
Especially when they’re not yet sure how to deal with the urge to shame or compare themselves to people who make them feel worse on social media, sometimes the best way to deal is to remove the urge altogether.
8. Criticism from strangers
Negative comments and criticism on social media can seriously affect people’s mental health for the worse. Even in adulthood, these judgments can be destabilizing, which is why people with deep minds are careful about the opinions and insights they let into their worlds.
Considering that most criticism from strangers is actually a defense mechanism for them To cope with uncertainty, these judgments reflect us less than we realize. Yes, it’s hard to avoid this criticism and not internalize it, but the smartest people can ignore and disengage from comments and judgments that don’t come from people they know and trust.
9. A desire for popularity
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It’s easy to get sucked into the world of attention-seeking and popularity on social media, even as a mature, confident adult. At the end of the day, we all just want to feel community and belongingbut sometimes on social media we are pressured and lured by the wrong spaces and desires.
Our brain’s reward systems craves admiration and statusespecially as we age in this culture, but the wisest people push back against the natural desire of conscious connection and work on personal self-esteem. Instead of seeking instant rewards and gratification from social media, they look to tangible personal interests and relationships to feel secure.
10. Subdivision
Whether it’s being constantly privy to other people’s attention-seeking behavior or putting their own privacy on the line by oversharing on social media, this kind of openness can have all kinds of hidden consequences and risks.
According to a study from Psychological Reportsanxiety and unhealthy social media relationships are all associated with oversharing online. So even when it provides a fleeting sense of security and validation, it usually only ends up damaging people’s self-esteem over time.
11. Toxic algorithms
Algorithms are often what bring us the kinds of content we’re interested in, but they can also cultivate all kinds of toxic relationships between people and their phones.
On top of all the toxic pressures that encourage people to spend too much time online, a survey from 2021 claims that algorithms also tend to push toxic, misogynistic content towards young users online. So deep thinking people may notice when they are fed these narratives and ideas over and over again, but for the average person it is easy to fall into the spiral.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & politics and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help and human interest stories.
